Today, I would like to post about perseverance in parenting, particularly when it involves introducing a child to something new.
No, this post will not be about broccoli. It's actually about Kindermusik classes.
I've been taking my eldest daughter, Bethany, to Kindermusik classes since she was five months old. She's now just turned four. So I've been through a lot of semesters, and every new semester I meet all kinds of wonderful new moms, moms who want to give their babies the best of everything. They envision taking a music class and cuddling with their child, humming to their child--all bliss and Mozart. But they get to the class with their baby and all of a sudden there is screaming and squirming. The child won't lay still for infant massage. They won't cuddle for rocking. They could care less about the books during quiet time. All they want to do is play under Mrs. Aimee's table, or try to break into Mrs. Aimee's amazing closet. And slowly, ever so slowly, I see some of those moms start to look disappointed and sad.
At those moments I just want to say: hang in there! Persevere. And so many do. They come back, week after week, and lo and behold what they find: their children acclimate. Even as young as a few months old, these infants start to get in touch with they rhythm of the class. They get less fussy, less weepy, less difficult. The older ones get into the swing of the class in more overt ways. They find their favorite books. They squirm less during massage. They will allow some rocking.
Part of the reason they adjust is because such things are repeated each week. Part of the reason is that mom and dad start trying to work with these things at home. And another part is that mom and dad (and grandma and grandpa) have learned the way their child likes to be massaged and rocked. Maybe baby doesn't like to be massaged laying on her back; she prefers to sit in lap. Maybe baby doesn't like to be rocked in the lap; she prefers to be rocked with mom standing up. And slowly, with the power of parenting perseverance (say that 10 times quickly) things get smoother and more fun. More idyllic.
Note: As they get older and more used to class, though, they only get more interested in that table and in trying to break into the closet (or get past Mrs. Aimee's lovely ocean-scene covered doors to the world beyond).
I'm writing about this today because while my first daughter, Bethany, was a dream child (i.e. the one I was given to trick me into having the second one) my second daughter, Christa, is a free spirit. While Bethany always has, and still will, lay perfectly limp during "infant massage" (even though she is four) Christa has always squirmed. While Bethany will still allow me to rock her to music, Christa has always tried to escape my lap. Christa has, up until today, been more likely to let someone else rock or massage her than me--and Christa has been going to Kindermusik classes (at the start with her sister) since she was an infant in a carrier, six weeks old. Now she is almost eighteen months old (perseverance, anyone?) and today, for the first time, she let me massage her the whole time--albeit laying with her head upside down hanging down from my lap. She also cuddled in my lap for rocking. And she didn't even try to pry Mrs. Aimee's outlet protectors out--not even once! She has become a model Kindermusik citizen, after eighteen months of classes!
Most children are not Christa. They do not take this long. Most get in the groove in just a few weeks. So just remember--if at first you don't succeed, keep trying with whatever it is (even vegetables). Eventually, you and your child will find your way.
