A Talent for Giftedness

Q. My child's teacher says that he is gifted. Isn't that just another way of saying he is talented?

A. Giftedness goes well beyond individual talent. It affects both ability as well as emotional/social interactions and many other aspects of daily living. The current definition of giftedness is "Students, children, or youth who give evidence of high achievement capability in areas such as intellectual, creative, artistic, or leadership capacity, or in specific academic fields, and who need services and activities not ordinarily provided by the school in order to fully develop those capabilities." I encourage you to read more about giftedness here. It is a common misconception that gifted children learn the same as other children and will be the model student in the classroom. The truth is that without the proper understanding and learning environment, gifted children will often become bored, have behavior problems, struggle with social interactions with their classmates, and purposely fail classwork.  In fact, I recently read that when Thomas Edison was a boy, his teachers told him he was too stupid to learn anything. I recommend that you discuss your child's development with your school's psychologist, enrichment teacher, or a local child psychologist to further understand what to expect.

We're ready for you!

I am so excited about a project I recently found out about from Kindermusik International! They are going to create a resource for their educators called "Kindermusik for Every Child". So what does this mean for you, you might ask? Well, for quite some time Delightful Sounds has been working with children who experience a variety of developmental delays or disabilities. With two certified Infant Toddler Developmental Specialists on staff, we have seen amazing progress in all areas of development with these very special children. I love the fact that we have been able to create an inclusive environment where every child is edified and esteemed.
A Kindermusik classroom is a fabulous place where all children can explore the wonderful world of music and gain skills while having fun! However, not all educators or parents have felt comfortable or ready to take this step. That's where "Kindermusik for Every Child" comes in. This resource will provide Kindermusik educators around the world with resources and ideas specific to all kinds of developmental challenges that children face. Armed with this information, we will be able to reach children of all abilities with the developmental benefits, bonding experiences, and just plain fun that our music classes provide!

So, how about it? Are you ready for Kindermusik? We're ready for YOU!
 

It's all about perspective!

If you're raising a gifted child, the following quote should make a lot of sense to you.

'If we say that all people look at the world through a lens, with some lenses cloudy or distorted, some clear, and some magnified, we might say that gifted individuals view the world through a microscope lens and the highly gifted view it through an electron microscope. They see ordinary things in very different ways and often see what others simply cannot see.' (Linda Silverman)

Have you ever wondered why your gifted child seems so different? Why can't they watch the same TV shows or enjoy the same music without getting upset or overstimulated. Why is consistency in their routine so much more important than with that of their peers? The answer in one simple word-perspective! In the same way that you would get a totally different perspective by looking at the world each day through a microscope as opposed to wearing glasses, a gifted child sees everything around him in a different light. There's an old saying, "Never judge a man, unless you've walked a mile in his shoes." I've found that looking at things from my gifted children's perspective has truly helped me to better understand and parent them.

What do birds, monkeys, and gifted children have in common?

I was recently reading a blog post about gifted children and obsessions. It can be very common for any child to become obsessed with something, but it is especially prevalent in gifted children. They may become fascinated by something typical, such as trains, music, or dinosaurs, or it could even be something we might find rather unusual, like pasta or different fabrics. I know many parents worry that this type of intense interest may be a red flag for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder or Autism. However, it can actually be quite normal!
Gifted children have an insatiable appetite for new information. Therefore, they will often latch on to something that interests them and study it thoroughly. Once they have examined this area of interest to their satisfaction, you will likely see that they select something else. For example, one of my daughters was fascinated with birds. Every night for her bed time story she would want to read the Audubon Society identification book. By age 2, she could give the full name of about 40 birds just by seeing their picture. She is 8 now, and, even though she still likes birds, she no longer wants to read about them every day. We have graduated to monkeys! ;)
Here is my point. If you are trying to decide if your child is having trouble developmentally, the best rule of thumb is "Does the area of concern affect your child's daily activities or growth?" In other words:

• Can your child interact appropriately with their friends?
• Does it affect their learning ability in a class?
• Does it have a strong negative affect of their behavior at home and how they relate to their family?

If so, you should discuss your concerns with the appropriate professional.

It isn't fair!

One of the things I've noticed most keenly about raising gifted children is their strong sense of justice, or injustices as the case may be! It might be related to the social injustices they see around them, their feelings about how animals are treated, or even how they feel about the way they are disciplined. Their heightened sensitivity combined with their high intelligence allows for some strong feelings about the world around them. I've probably been most aware of this in my extrovert child. Her emotions come blazing out in a fury when she sees something she thinks isn't fair. Here are a few suggestions to help you weather the storm.

• Understand that their feelings are very real to them, no matter how petty it may seem to you as an adult.



• Take the time to openly discuss what they are feeling.



• Encourage them to come up with creative solutions to problems that bother them.

I've seen parents channel their children's energy in this area so well, that they raise some awesome, world-changing children. These are the types kids you see collecting food or clothes for the homeless or organizing something for the local animal shelter.

On the topic of parenting, don't be afraid to say your sorry if they call you on something. As a parent, I fail all the time. After all, we are only human, and it's not like they come with instructions! When my children point out something they don't think I've been fair about, I take the time to discuss it with them, and if an apology is necessary, then I say I'm sorry. Never underestimate the power of a good example!

a few more thoughts

I hope you are enjoying the blog series here on gifted children. In thinking about what we've discussed so far, I have become concerned about two things. First, I don't want to represent gifted children in a negative light. I realize that so far I have painted the gifted child as a rather complex, sensitive, strong-willed individual. While this is true, it does not adequately show the more joyful side of raising a gifted child.

• They have a keen sense of humor
• Their large vocabulary gives them a unique and engaging way with words
• They have a zest for learning new things, which can often be contagious
• They are highly creative, both with problem solving and pretend play

Secondly, I don't want parents to misinterpret the information in my previous posts and think that all challenging children are gifted or that high intelligence excuses poor behavior. Neither of these statements are true. There are many characteristics that combine to identify a gifted child. If you'd like to read more about that, I encourage you to click here. All children require proper guidance in order to become healthy, productive adults. As a parent, you can use your unique knowledge of your child's strengths, weaknesses, and personality to better understand how to accomplish this task.

Innies and Outies

Before you go checking belly buttons... We're going to talk a little about different personality types in gifted children. If your child is an extrovert, there is no mistaking it. They are the outspoken, busy butterflies, who flutter from topic to topic hardly pausing for a breath. An introvert on the other hand, prefers to sit back and observe it all, quietly drawing conclusions from all that unfolds before them.

Extrovert, gifted children can be exhausting at times. They overflow with worries, ideas, joys, questions, and fears. No thought or feeling is too small that it shouldn't be vocalized and thoroughly explored. As inundating as this bombardment may feel to the parent, I suspect it is equally as overwhelming to a young, gifted extrovert who may not understand how to deal with the variety of emotions that they are feeling.

On the other hand, a gifted introvert may hold much of this information inside. This may alleviate the overwhelmed parent, but likely not the child. Considering the depth of emotions and feelings that gifted children deal with, this may not be the healthiest scenario for an introvert. Take some time to talk with your child about their feelings. Encourage them to share their feelings with you and applaud them as they grow and learn how to work through their emotions successfully.

Intelligence at a price

One child described being gifted as being "vividly alive". Imagine being so keenly aware of everything around you. However, as I mentioned before, that heightened awareness comes with a price, and the higher the IQ, the higher the price tag.

Over excitability and sensitivity were two of the first clues that I was raising two gifted children. I love Webster's definition of excitability- "capable of being activated by and reacting to stimuli; a state of excitement or irritability". It fits perfectly, since there is rarely an in between for gifted children. They are either vividly happy, vividly sad, vividly angry, and the list goes on. Couple this with a deeper sensitivity to stimuli and situations than that seen in most children, and you might find yourself wondering, "What's going on with my child?"

Gifted children may find it difficult at times to find the "even ground" emotionally, especially when they are very young. Things like crowds, loud noises, music, or any kind of environment that is overly stimulating may evoke feelings that your child is unsure how to handle. If you find yourself in this situation, here are a few things that have worked for us.

• Teach your child self-calming skills. This may even involve you physically sitting with your child in a quiet place when you recognize them getting over the edge.
• Recognize what triggers your child's over-excitability so that you are better prepared.
• Make sure you are consistent with rules and consequences when your child crosses the line with their behavior.
• Even if your friends or family don't understand, remember that you are not alone.

I would love to hear from some of you. Have you found any great ways of helping your children work through these issues?

Why can't they just slow down?

Today's post will have absolutely nothing to do with music (I'm apologizing in advance), but I wanted to continue with my series on giftedness in young children. As a teacher, one of the things that amazes me is the fact that there seems to be so many gifted children these days. I am, by no means, an expert, but it seems like there are more children being given this label than ever before. Perhaps it is because there is more research available, which enhances awareness and earlier identification of these children. Perhaps it is that we have better health and medical care during pregnancy than before, which leads to stronger brain development in the womb. Maybe it is because we offer a greater array of experiences to our children than our parents did, or it could be a combination of all of these items. I would love to read a study about it, but I'm not sure that the subject of giftedness has been studied long enough to adequately answer this question yet.

However, it is widely agreed that giftedness comes from a combination of good genes and the experiences offered to the child. In other words, a biologically gifted child increases their IQ or abilities by drawing on life experiences. You will typically see this child asking lots of "how" and "why" questions as well as actively exploring everything around them. They are keen observers and are often able to understand things well beyond their years. Unfortunately, all of this sensory input comes with a price- emotional sensitivity and over-excitability.

It was once explained to me like this. We all have an "inner cup" that receives the sensory input we observe. Once this cup is full, we feel overwhelmed and will react in order to relieve that stress. Every one's cup is the same size, but the fact that a gifted child has a heightened sense of awareness allows them to fill their "cup" much faster than the average person. This can result in a variety of behavioral issues, and I plan to talk more about this in my next post.

The gifted child

If your 18 month old is talking in 3-4 word sentences...

If your three year old is already reading....

If your five year old is already learning multiplication...

these are strong indications that you are raising a gifted child! But what does that mean exactly and what are other indications that a child might be gifted?

A gifted child is defined as a child whose ability is significantly higher than average. This ability could be related to intellect, but it could also include musical, physical, or other abilities. Here are a few other characteristics of gifted children:

• Frequently reach developmental milestones early


• May talk later that their peers, but later language skills are above average


• Intense interest in reading and asks a lot of questions


• Seems overly mature intellectually, but might lag behind in other areas of development


• May show unusual sensitivities or preferences (i.e. food, clothing, sleeping patterns)


• Very active with a strong desire to explore things

This list is by no means complete, but I wanted to give you a sample of what a gifted child might look like. Perhaps you are in the same place that I was not so many years ago. I found myself wondering, "Is my child just overly strong-willed? Why don't they act like the other children? Is something wrong with them?" I plan to talk about this and more as I write this blog series on the topic of giftedness in children. Please join me in the conversation! I welcome your questions and comments about your own experiences in raising or teaching gifted children.